Still Alive

So I recently beat Portal 2, without ever having played the first one (*gasp!* it's so horrible!). I was, however, introduced to the ending song from Portal, Still Alive, back in freshman year; Instant addiction.
I was slightly more disappointed with Portal 2's ending song, Want You Gone. It just didn't have the feel to it, y'know? Anyway, onto the body of the post!
The Song of The day is Still Alive by Jonathan Coultman, written for the video game Portal. Here's the most kickass kinetic typography video you'll ever watch in your sad, pathetic lifetimes.

Still Alive-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCt2nZF2nLk

Want You Gone-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5eVqVbbvlg

What's your song of the day? Played any good games lately?

Music=Life

Wretches And Kings

REVOLUTION!!!
The Song of The Day is Wretches And Kings by Linkin park. What's yours?

Music=Life

Bleed It Out/Waiting For The End

There are those times when it seems like nobody around you knows what the fuck is really going on. This past month has been one of those times for me. The Songs of The Day are Bleed It Out and Waiting For The End, both by Linkin Park. Yes it's a song about suicide, but I'm far from that. Suicide is for the weak, and I'm not as weak as my other self seems to think. No, this is the song of the day because sometimes you have to do something drastic to make people realize what the real problem is. Now it seems like everybody in my family that is involved or has taken interest in this situation is just blaming my actions on my friends and Rocket, and that's not right. My father says that I was "just chasing some girl" (to put it nicely, I'd not repeat what he called her.), which sucks because she was looking forward to possibly meeting him this week, but after all that was said today I'm not sure that I want him here. He doesn't understand that all of this has nothing to do with the bitter feud that he and my mother have. He doesn't get that this isn't just because I live with somebody other than him. I don't live with him because I know that I'll never live up to his expectations, but it seems that even here I can't escape being a huge fucking disappointment to the bastard. So I don't know what to do to make him understand that I don't need somebody else flipping shit on me when I've pretty much kicked the crap out of myself every day since I failed my friends. He doesn't have that guilt, he's never let anybody down the way I have.
Then there's my Grandmother, one of the only 3 people that doesn't make me feel fucking useless because of this. No, she just makes me feel more guilty. There are only three things that really hurt me about all this. They are, in this order, letting down my grandparents, not being able to see Rocket as much, and knowing that my feeling of overall failure is justified. My Grandma and Grandpa (on my fathers side) are the people that are my inspiration to succeed. Even before I met Rocket, or my brothers in Florida, I knew I had to be famous to pay them back. They are first on my list of people to help when I make it. Of course my grandmother always wanted me to be a doctor, lawyer, or scientist, so a profession in the arts was out of the question to her, so I changed my plan a bit to where I could still be happy without being a disappointment. I know it sounds petty, but they are some of the most important people in my life, and I can't let them down. I'm seriously afraid that they might die if I go to juvie. I'm not fucking kidding.
In other news I "finished" my new mask. It's kind of a demonic skull looking face. It was originally orange, so I repainted it all white, and I wear it with a kind of ninja hood behind it so that the black and white contrast. I'm going to splatter it with red paint to look like blood splatter. It's gonna be sick.
Readers, what's your song of the day?


Music=Life

A Really Cool Dance Song

The Song of The Day is A Really Cool Dance Song by Bowling For Soup. Just look it up, I don't have time to explain why right now.

Music=Life

New Divide

I had some trouble trying to convey my thoughts into a song today. Or rather, I had some trouble trying to find a song that I could use to properly convey my thoughts to you Readers. So I'll start like this. Ever have one of those days where you just want to rip yourself apart piece by piece? Like, you hate yourself for your decisions, but you acknowledge that there's nothing you can do to change what you did, and that just makes it worse. You want to off yourself but won't because there's people that need you and you have this false sense of pride that drive you to tell the universe "Fuck off, this soul is mine!"? This is one of those days for me. Because of my paranoia, and my dreams. I hate dreaming, with a passion. I used to have these really kickass rocker dreams, and now they all suck. Back to whatever the fuck I hinted at a story with earlier.
I say a lot of stupid shit (if you've read this blog before, you know that), and I get in trouble for a lot of stupid shit, but as my mother once told me "You're a teenager, that's pretty much the epitome of 'It seemed like a good idea at the time'." She's right, but what bothers me the most, in when I don't know what I did to piss somebody off. Did I say something? Was it something I did? Then they don't tell me when I ask. When I ask what I did wrong I'm not just curious, I want to fix it. Cross whatever gap I have caused. The Song of The Day is New Divide by Linkin Park. I know I've done it before, but that was like two years ago right? Right? Whatever, fuck off.
On a note that has nothing to do with anything I've talked about today, my mother leaves for Home tomorrow. That's right, she gets to take a trip up to our hometown in Alaska. I'm not going with for two reasons; 1)I won't leave the state unless Rocket is with me for fear that I might not make it back. 2) I don't want to use my grandparents airline miles. They'll need those to come to my graduation. Which I will graduate, despite what all of you fucks say.
Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life

Technologic

The only words to describe today are boring and repetitive. So here's a song that is both boring, and repetitive. I really can't figure out why it's on my Droid. The Song of The Day is Technologic by Daft Punk. For some reason I used to like this song, enough to pay itunes for it apparently. Rocket can't come over tomorrow, and by the time I'd get there it'd be time for chores and I always feel like I'm just getting in the way and not really helping with anything. We're gonna try for Saturday and Sunday and then next weekend and spring break. But I know that my Mother and her Husband will come up with a hundred different reasons why we can't see eachother during the whole week that she doesn't have school. She says that she doesn't do it on purpose, but every time I even bring up Rocket or going to see her it's always a "maybe" and something always comes up. So forgive me if it leads me to believe that they obviously don't want me seeing her. Well, they can go fuck themselves.
Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life

Lost Woods Dubstep

So today was my going away party. Not as fun as I thought it would be. My friend Jordon came though, and we ended up walking around. Doing nothing. As usual. Pretty much what we do when we go over to Victors house too. But this time we went on a nature trail. ADVENTURE! Not really. Was pretty boring. Called The Girl while we were out walking. My phone battery was dying and texting takes too long to actually form a conversation. Really though, I just wanted to talk to her instead of texting. Yes my battery was low, but that's just an excuse. Song of The Day is more of a beat. It's the Lost Woods Dubstep by Ephixa. It's a remix of the old Lost Woods, Legend of Zelda theme. It's pretty badass.

Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life

New Divide

Today sucks. Couldn't get a ride to go anywhere, my friends mom thinks I smoke so she doesn't let him come over to my house, and all we had for dinner was some shitty leftovers of 3 day old spaghetti noodles with no sauce. Maybe I'm just bitching. But two good things happened today; I got barbeque pizza (fuck you google chrome, dictionary.com says it's spelled with a Q not a C. HA), and I heard my 3rd favorite Linkin Park song on the radio. New Divide. So just because it lifted my mood a slight bit during a bad day, the Song of The Day is New Divide by Linkin Park. This is one of the songs that will always improve my day. Readers, what songs will always lift your spirits during a bad time? Everyone has a few, or maybe even just one. If music doesn't make you happy, you are a sad person and probably have nothing real to live for. Anyway, I'm going to go complain about my day to someone else. Reading through this months demographics aren't that encouraging to keep typing anyway.

Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life

My Darkest Hour

Lately I've been doubting everything. And everyone. Mainly myself, which is why I've started my whole reconstruction thing y'know. After high school I'm supposed to go down to New Mexico (I completely forgot why we chose New Mexico or how that was decided.) to meet up with The Girl. But what if I get there, and we meet again, and I'm just some huge disappointment? What if she sees pictures of me or something before then and decides not to go? My Darkest Hour? Getting there and being right about everything again. Song of The Day is My Darkest Hour by Scary Kids Scaring Kids. I don't want the years to go by and for me to be the same disappointment that I am now or was a year ago. I want to be different. To be like my friend Victor. Almost every girl I thought (or was told) I had a chance with wanted to go out with him (the exact numbers being 3 out of 4. All this was of course after the thing with The Girl and one of my best friends. Starting to think I surround myself with the wrong people if every girl I feel remotely attracted to in any way goes after one of my friends. Now that I think of it, there was one girl who ended up with my friend Taylor. What the fuck.) I want to be the guy that can steal the heart of any girl, but doesn't. Like the people in those retarded chick-flicks my mom and sister are always watching. All of this is of course unrealistic as I am doomed to spend my days in an unchangeable recurring situation. I'm a stepping stone. If that's the right phrase. Anyway, I'm not even supposed to be awake right now, time to go off on some sleeping pills. Chances of accidental OD because the bottle doesn't give dosage amounts? Moderately high. But I'm not dead yet so fuck off world.

Readers, do I even need to ask what your song of the day is?

Music=Life

Bring The Pain

Why can't I be the badass? Aside from the obvious I mean (being a skinny, pale, white boy). I'm fast. I'm witty. I just don't have the skill. So for the last few days (starting yesterday) I have been re-inventing myself. Rebuilding. So, I acted towards my mind as a mechanic would with a machine. Tore apart my mental, my psyche, my personality. And now, we rebuild. Starting with the mind. I am indestructible, as long as I believe that I shall have no fear of death (only pain). I rode my bike off the roof today (don't tell my parents, or The Girl). It fucking hurt. But nothing was broken, I walked inside with only a bloody nose and some minor nausea. Then as I passed the bathroom I threw up in the toilet. But that doesn't matter. So how the fuck am I? Well, I got my plan, I wouldn't say I'm "swayze" cuz I don't know what that means, but if it's good, then yes. I am swayze. The song of The Day is Bring The Pain by Mindless Self Indulgence. It's actually a cover of an old rap song by Method Man, but the original FUCKING SUCKS. That's why the MSI version is here instead. :) So I'm gonna let myself know it's real, the pain that is. I'm gonna pick up parkour again. Learning Kendo from this new kid that moved in on base. It's some old-ass Japanese swordfighting thing. But whatever. I'm gonna be the guy others wish they could be. Rather than watching all these movies and wishing I could do what they do, I'm gonna learn to do it. My stepdad is teaching me to be a better shot with his M1911 .45 caliber handgun and his old .22 rifle. (maybe the bastard isn't totally useless afterall) "I came to bring the pain" the very first line from the song, that'll be me. Wish me luck! Song of the week to come soon.

Music=Life