Fuck You

I'm continuing the song of the day, and I don't give a fuck about how much any of you bitch about it.

If You Could Only See

Y'know, when you know a lot of the people that read this, it makes it hard to post your actual thoughts. Because they'll read them, and feel that they have to change those thoughts somehow or otherwise dispel them from your mind in some way. So I'm done posting anything remotely true to my day and feelings and overall just give up on this entire project because my mother, father, family, and friends are all just going to bitch and moan about anything I say at this point. Sucks to, cuz I had a hell of a song picked out for tomorrow. But whatever. I couldn't find anything to express how I was feeling today, and I can't remember the lyrics to this song, but it's the first on Pandora today, so fuck off world. The Song of The Day is If You Could Only See by Toxic.

Readers, I quit. Because a majority of you just continue to bitch at me for being an honest and occasionally biased person. And to those people, fuck off.

Music=Life

Whisper To The Clouds

Still looking for my song of the day. No it's not Whisper to The Clouds by The High Court, I just wanted to share a song to keep you all sated while you wait. I know exactly what I'm going to say in my Song Of The Day lecture, rant, spill, gush, speech, whatever you want to call it.

Hey Readers, WHO'S READY FOR HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS!? YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!! FREE CANDY AND SHIT!!!

Music=Life

Lee

The Song Of The Day is Lee by Tenacious D, only because I've been singing it all day. I'm not sure if I can do this anymore, my Song of The Day I mean. It's getting harder and harder to focus on anything but Rocket, I love her. And my Mother, and The Stepfather, and anybody else who says I should feel otherwise, or questions why, can go fuck off. As a mother that constantly preaches honestly and being a good person, you can't make base assessments of Rocket just based on what she says, and you can't say you trust me when you pull what you did today by giving me more chores than usual just so we can't be together, and then tell me I have to keep my door open when you know my door is ALWAYS CLOSED, and I am angered when it is open.

But whatever, what's your song of the day Readers?

One Step Closer

How many of you can honestly say you're a good person? Huh? What like five or six of you yeah? How many, out of the rest of you, try to be a good person? Or at least pretend? Well I'm sick of it. You know how it works. You try to be the nice guy, the good guy, the one always trying to avoid conflict around others, and they just can't let you be. They have to push, and push, and push, until you're ready to fucking break(their necks). But you don't. Whether it be out of sanity, or fear of legal repercussions, the point is that you don't do it. Which is good, but you at least fantasize about it right? I can't be the only one that just wants to put a hole in these fuckers skulls. Actually I had a fantastic day. Spent the hour of "Tiger Time" (our schools version of a free class. Only mandatory if you have low grades.) with Rocket (she is no longer grounded on Saturday! So we can go see the Night Of The Living Dead show! I kinda have to be there for one of the nights, just an emergency stage hand if anything gets totally fucked up.). But that's not all. The people that you hold closest in your mind might be out to destroy you! WATCH THEM. BE PARANOID. They always told me to keep my friends close and my enemies closer, well why not treat everyone as an enemy and keep them all as close as possible? There are few people who I will actually trust that are currently alive in this world; Rocket, my Uncle James, Vic, The Nerd King, and the voice in my head that suspiciously speaks Russian (yeah I don't know.), and there's one more that I'm not exactly sure about.. Anyway, people are just going to keep moving you one step after another towards the proverbial edge. Now I'm not saying that you should give up on all of humanity and kill yourself (unless you're in the habit of pissing me off, then kill yourself.), not actually sure what I'm saying right now. But yeah, people are pissing me off, and I've found that living in ignorance about who people are, what they do, and what they're thinking is much more fun. Because I get to do what I do best and come up with an entire background story for them and why they're such assholes.

New topic! Actually no. I'm bored, tired, and still trying to find somebody to talk to. Rocket needs a cell phone -_-

Song of The Day is One Step Closer by Linkin Park, what's yours?

Music=Life

Dear Maria

So, I'm in the process of learning to make Dreamcatchers. Y'know, those old things your grandparents had hanging in EVERY bedroom. They're meant to trap bad dreams so the sun can destroy them with the dawn. And apparently Rocket has been having nightmares, so for Christmas, I'm making her a dreamcatcher. Because they have more power when made by somebody close to you, and because I'm too poor to go out and buy the really fancy jeweled one that she wanted. Fuck money. Eventually I'll have enough to where I'll just forget that I have it and it won't matter because we'll have everything we ever wanted. Not sure how this relates to my song for today, but whatever. The Song Of The Day is Dear Maria by All Time Low. I really, honestly, have no idea why. The Universe said yes when the song came on my phone, and what am I but a human conduit for the wishes and will of the Universe when it calls upon me. Anyway, dealing with yesterday by buying enough video games and music to last me a year without human contact. Phineas and Ferb: Across The Second Dimension, Uncharted, Skylanders, Battlefield 3, and X-Men:Destinies. And then Tron:Evolution when I have enough credit to buy that back. Yep, I'm doing well. Now if I just had some more string to finish the dreamcatcher...

Readers, what's your song of the day? And what game am I missing off this list?

Music=Life

All Downhill From Here

It's finally done. Today marks the true end of my friendship with The Girl, and I just tossed out the only friendship that I thought would last till.. Well, I just thought it would last. But I said that I was done. It was the most recent conversation (yesterday) that did it. She thought that she didn't matter to me anymore, I guess I showed her how right that was, when it's a lie.

As infants we learn through trial and error. We stick our hand to a hot stove and burn ourselves, we don't do it again. So why did I keep talking to her? If every conversation reminded me of the entire road before it, every mistake and every word I shouldn't've said, every time she hurt me and every time I wanted to make her feel the same pain (guess this works...). Another reason why I'm number one on my list of people to shoot while I'm still alive.

The Song Of The Day is All Downhill From Here by Newfound Glory. "Catalyst, you exist to pull me down. You contradict the fact that you still want me around. And it's all downhill from here.". I suppose it also could've been Addicted by Simple Plan, not for the love song aspect, but because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop texting her. Or wanting to talk to her. It's not love, love is what I feel for Rocket. It was different for The Girl. When I did tell her that I loved her (In Florida, before the incident with Alex. The one name that I don't give a fuck about.), I meant it, and she said that she felt the same way. And not a week later she's going out with Alex. Funny. Her excuse for it (as I understand it) was that she didn't want to get close to me when she was just going to leave. I believe her. Took awhile, but I believe her, not that it matters. Why am I still typing this? Fuck. But back to the infantile logic example. When a person keeps hurting you (on purpose or not), why would you stay around them? So that's why I wanted to end our friendship. Because we would've continued that stupid little cycle of one of us hurting the other again and again. Not only was I sick of being hurt, I don't want to hurt her. So my final "attack" was saying goodbye, which is this. Not 6 hours pass and I'm already regretting it. Too damn proud and logical to go back on it now.

Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life

Easier To Run

Mistakes. Everyone makes at least one in their lifetime. Big, small, catastrophic, common. Like how people mispronounce my name. Common mistake, because it's not the American average for the spelling. But when people make fun of my name, big mistake.

Sometimes we want to run from our problems, just so we don't have to face the ending, or consequence. We don't want to face the failure alone, but we don't want to involve our friends and family out of pride or some other bullshit. It's always easier to run. So The Song of The Day is Easier To Run by Linkin Park. Just because it's easier to avoid our problems, doesn't mean it's the best thing to do. I try getting to the center of problems. Like here, I'm not skirting around the topic and trying to give you a peaceful way out. Confrontation is often the only way to get over whatever issue is currently on your mind. I'm not talking physical, unless it's a person or a bully. If it is a bully or some piece of shit like that, you have two options. Either way, the cycle will never end and they will never leave you alone. You can risk life and limb and attempt to defend yourself and your honor by kicking their ass, or you can go tell a teacher or some other adult in your life and let them deal with the situation. In the first one there are two outcomes that will lead to you still being tortured. A) You win, you beat the kid's ass. They continue to pester and push you to fight again, claiming that you cheated or that they "weren't ready". Or they just jump your ass on the way home. B) You lose. They call you a little bitch, and continuously use your loss against you verbally. If you go get a teacher, you basically have an upgraded version of outcome B from the fight situation.

Anyway, don't run from your problems, you'll only make the outcome worse when you finally reach a dead end. No matter what you do in life, you will always end up in some kind of conflict that you don't think you're ready to deal with. But you will anyway, unless you decide to off yourself. Now don't get all pissy over what I'm going to say next, we all think this at some point. But suicide just means you're too pathetic to deal with your problems. You're just running away. And it's a lot easier to put on those running shoes and never stop, but at some point you're going to wish you'd'v tripped on your laces before you started. Or maybe not. My whole afterlife theory is that we lose all consciousness and join with the hive mind of the universe, our minds lost in the screams of a thousand more just like us. Anyway, that's my daily ranting and raving or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I'm out.

Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life