New Divide

I had some trouble trying to convey my thoughts into a song today. Or rather, I had some trouble trying to find a song that I could use to properly convey my thoughts to you Readers. So I'll start like this. Ever have one of those days where you just want to rip yourself apart piece by piece? Like, you hate yourself for your decisions, but you acknowledge that there's nothing you can do to change what you did, and that just makes it worse. You want to off yourself but won't because there's people that need you and you have this false sense of pride that drive you to tell the universe "Fuck off, this soul is mine!"? This is one of those days for me. Because of my paranoia, and my dreams. I hate dreaming, with a passion. I used to have these really kickass rocker dreams, and now they all suck. Back to whatever the fuck I hinted at a story with earlier.
I say a lot of stupid shit (if you've read this blog before, you know that), and I get in trouble for a lot of stupid shit, but as my mother once told me "You're a teenager, that's pretty much the epitome of 'It seemed like a good idea at the time'." She's right, but what bothers me the most, in when I don't know what I did to piss somebody off. Did I say something? Was it something I did? Then they don't tell me when I ask. When I ask what I did wrong I'm not just curious, I want to fix it. Cross whatever gap I have caused. The Song of The Day is New Divide by Linkin Park. I know I've done it before, but that was like two years ago right? Right? Whatever, fuck off.
On a note that has nothing to do with anything I've talked about today, my mother leaves for Home tomorrow. That's right, she gets to take a trip up to our hometown in Alaska. I'm not going with for two reasons; 1)I won't leave the state unless Rocket is with me for fear that I might not make it back. 2) I don't want to use my grandparents airline miles. They'll need those to come to my graduation. Which I will graduate, despite what all of you fucks say.
Readers, what's your song of the day?

Music=Life