Readers, what's your song of the day? And what's your take on my situation? (not asking if I made the right "Choice", because it wasn't a choice, it was a feeling that I acted upon.)
Music=Life, my mind=fucked
Get Infected
- Virus
- I am but a conduit for the verbal and musical expressions that the universe chooses to channel through my mind and soul.
Monday, September 19, 2011
The Last Fight
The Last Fight, Tears Don't Fall, I knew it would be Bullet For My Valentine Day, aside from the fact that I woke up with Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran stuck in my fucked up little mind. I didn't expect it to be this one though. An overdose would have still been way easier, but then I wouldn't have any more time with Rocket, and that would have not been cool at all. But this should be the last time that I and The Girl combat eachother with verbal arrows, some sharp enough to pierce even her emotional armor... I'm always worried that Rocket will read these things and think that she's a second or something. True, The Girl came first. True, I had feelings for her. But previous events had changed that, and even IF she told the truth and wasn't playing me, I still don't trust her as much as I used to, and the emotion towards her is dead in me, rotting somewhere deep inside the recesses of my twisted soul that I don't have (kinda sounds like a Disturbed song). Rocket, you're not a second. You're not a consolation prize. You're you, and that's all you have to be. I even accept the voices in your head with you ;) Now, I'm going to go waste time on the internet while playing guitar and drowning my thoughts in some old school Black Sabbath (Ozzy's Sabbath) and Motley Crue.
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I have two for today, both by Catherine.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2wK25-Kd18&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI7wZmUopDU
Also, you've found yourself in a similar circumstance that I just got out of. I've been obsessed with this one girl for six years, and she's done nothing but lead me on and treat me like shit. I confessed my feelings to her 1. January of this year, after finally getting the courage to tell her. She just kind of shrugged it off at first, then she started to pretend like there could be something between us. I moved away, and not even a month later she's married to some guy I've never heard of before. This fucked me up pretty badly, but it gets worse. About a month ago, she randomly texts me(I quit talking to her after I learned she got married, in hopes of moving on), asking why I hated her and whatnot. I told her I still felt the same about her, and after a bit of just talking she decides to tell me that she loves me and is sorry for getting married. She blamed it on me not being there, or some shit like that. That really fucked me up, especially since she told me that if her marriage fell apart she wanted me to "save her." Being the fool I am, I told her I would always be there for her, waiting for her to need me.
A few weeks ago, I started talking to another girl about random nerd topics. Just a chance meeting, it seemed. This one girl has completely wiped girl one from my mind, and caused me to fall for her extremely hard. I know, this sounds like some fucked version of Romeo and Juliet. Romeo(me) "loves" Rosaline(girl one), until seeing the face of Juliet(girl two). They fall in love instantly, and Romeo completely forgets all about Rosaline.
Life's fucked. Love's fucked. We're fucked.
Still trying to think why it seems like I know you.
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